I live with a host family in Australia right now. There are the parents and four kids, two boys and twin girls. They are so great! I love staying with them, and it is nice to have a family here. But gosh, it never fails to make me miss my family more than ever. We sit down for dinner together as a family, something that I didn’t get to do in college. So now when we sit together and talk about our days… I wish it was my family I was sitting with. I wish it was my dad making jokes and my mom’s smile across the table. I wish it was exchanging looks with Andy and knowing what each other is thinking. I wish it was Steven being stubborn and correcting my dad’s joke or story: “That’s not how it happened!” I miss laughing together. Being together is such a rare gift so I hold those moments close to my heart.
I hang out with my host siblings and take the twins on individual dates down to the beach or take all of them to sushi and ice cream, which I enjoy so much… but it makes me wish I was doing it all with Steven. I wish I could be spending time with my little brother, time I missed out on during college. I wish I could be making these memories with him, going on adventures that I can’t go on with him because he is too far away… We were always too busy with soccer and school and traveling the world that we didn’t seize the moments we had together. We didn’t have enough of just enjoying each other and getting to experience new things together.
I go to watch my host sibling’s soccer games sometimes. It’s great, but what I would do to watch Steven play soccer again… I haven’t seen him play in a real game in years. During college, I only went home for Christmas and there are no soccer games then. My mom and dad are always updating Andy and I on how Steven is doing and how amazing he is – they tell us what coaches and scouts say about him and we are so proud of him, but it’s not the same as getting to be at his game and cheer for him and hug him after the game and tell him how proud of him we are. I know he would love to have us there supporting him.
I miss my mom and Andy insanely as well. Maybe I am all sorts of homesick and didn’t even know it, who knows. But I saw them before coming to Australia. I got to hug my mom and hold her hand during dinner. I got to see how beautiful she is in person for the first time in a long time. She blessed me and kissed my forehead before we parted ways.
I got to laugh with Andy and tell him everything that no one else understands. No one in this world knows how to deal with me the way Andy does. He knows when to just listen and when to call me out on my bullshit. He knows I am a sensitive soul and knows how to best get a message through without attacking me. I got to turn into overprotective sister when we went out at night – it never fails. I got a “Jenny, I am fine, relax”, like I always do.
But Steven and my dad… I haven’t seen them since December and even then, it was only for a week. They couldn’t make it to my college graduation at the last minute… Literally the day that they were supposed to arrive in Chapel Hill, they could not come. It was the most devastating news. I had all these plans for Steven and me. We were going to have a sleepover the first day and go on a night drive in the convertible to get all kinds of junk food. He would finally tell me all the things he was saving to tell me in person. We’d play that card game I had told him about a million times because he loves playing cards. I’d give him the basketball I got for him and have him get it signed by all the UNC players himself so he could meet them. We would take pictures and videos, an unreasonable amount because I don’t have enough with my baby brother. It was going to be amazing, but he couldn’t come. I always miss my family, but now knowing I missed my one chance to see them this year is really hard for me. So I hope that as soon as I get back home, we will find a way to all be together again… OR they can all come visit me in Australia!!!
I know lots of people want to read about how everything is going in Australia and some want to know what I am doing down under. That will be answered soon enough.
Keep following my blog to find out!